Have you been struggling to figure out where you and your significant other stand in your relationship? Do you feel like you are continually investing 100 percent into your relationship but only getting 20 percent in return? Do you feel like they are done with the relationship -- but that they are not brave enough to let you know? Feeling like you are in a one-sided relationship can be heartbreaking. It hurts to feel like you are an afterthought to someone you really care about.
So, how can you tell if you are in a one-sided relationship or simply overthinking the situation? Before you call it quits with your lover, it is vital to analyze the situation to be certain about where you both stand.
Clear Signs That You're In A One-sided Relationship
If you’ve been wondering whether you are in the relationship by yourself, consider these tell-tale signs. If two or more of these signs reflect what has been happening in your love life, there is definitely trouble in paradise, and it may be worth reevaluating the relationship.
You Are The Only One Giving Favors
One way to tell if you are in a one-sided relationship is when you are the one always giving favors, but your partner never reciprocates. When you ask for support, does your partner say they are busy with either work or other engagements? Do they seem to have too many obligations to deal with when you need their help or attention? Does your girlfriend or boyfriend get mad at you or say you are expecting too much when you get disappointed that they are not helping you out? If you answered yes to any of these questions, there is a great chance you are in a one-sided relationship.
You Always Initiate Communication
There are certain dating rules that men and women follow without even realizing it. For instance, women do not like to be the first to start a conversation. They believe a man is serious about them when he is the first to reach out, call, or text them. However, being the first to initiate communication every time can be a sign that you are in a one-sided relationship. A person who loves you and wants to be with you will not play games. When they miss you, they will call, and when they want to see you they will come over; it’s really that simple.
They Prioritize Their Friends Over You All The Time
If you find yourself competing for your partner’s attention with their friends, they might not really care about you. If a guy or girl blows you off to spend time alone or with friends all the time, it’s a clear sign you are in a one-sided relationship. You can also tell that they are not interested in you if they keep canceling plans you had together.
You Always Seem To Apologize For Things You Shouldn't Apologize For
When you are in a one-sided relationship, you may find yourself apologizing for things you should not apologize for. For instance, if you’re going through a rough patch, it is natural to need your partner’s support to deal with the situation. You shouldn’t have to apologize for taking up their time or feel guilty for asking for their help. A partner who guilt trips you and doesn’t care what you need is not worth your time.
You feel The Need To Justify Their Behavior To Your Relatives And Friends
Other people will often see the negative things in your relationship to which you’ve turned a blind eye. When you are always showing up to events alone yet you are in a relationship, people notice. They also see every time your partner forgets special events or mistreats you. If a relative or friend tries to warn you about these red flags, but you find yourself defending your partner, it may be a sign that you are more invested in the relationship than they are.
The Relationship Constantly Stresses You Out
Being in love is a fantastic feeling. When you’ve found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, often times you’re happy when you think about your relationship. Therefore, if the thought of your relationship stresses you out more often than not, you might be in a one-sided relationship. You shouldn’t continue being in such a relationship -- it might even have a negative impact on your health.
How To Get Out Of A One-sided Relationship Or Avoid Getting Into One
So, how can you get out of a one-sided relationship or avoid getting into one? When you find yourself in a one-sided relationship, it doesn’t help to blame yourself or keep dwelling on the situation. There are several things you can do to handle the situation and avoid a repeat of the same.
Don't Expect Them To Change
A lot of people make the mistake of staying in a one-sided relationship with the hope that their partner will change. Unfortunately, it is pretty much impossible to change someone. The only way a person can change their behavior is if they are willing to do it. For this reason, do not stay with a partner that does not appreciate your efforts or love you just because you are hoping things will be different with time. Love yourself enough to move on from a person who doesn’t make any effort to keep you in their life. It might be difficult to move past your relationship, but with time, you will realize moving on was the best decision for you.
Avoid Chasing After Them
If a person does not see your worth from the get-go, do not see this as an invitation to prove yourself. You should never have to work hard to keep someone in your life. If they love you, they will make an effort to stay. Think about it, do you ever have to chase after your friends to make them stay in your life? No. You don’t. That is because relationships that are meant to be, just happen. They call you just to say hello, they invite you out for fun activities, and make you feel included in their plans.
The same case applies to relationships. A person who loves you will go out of their way to be in your life. Even when you face challenges, they will try to make it work because they love you. Therefore, quit the chase and preserve yourself for someone who isn’t blind to the wonderful person you are.
Be Honest About How You Feel
Honesty can save you a lot of heartache and stress in a relationship. Do you feel like your partner has all of a sudden drifted away from you? Does he or she make you feel like you are in the relationship by yourself? Sometimes, the only way to know whether or not you are in a one-sided relationship is to get it from the horse’s mouth. Have a conversation with them and be completely honest about how you’ve been feeling. Let them know when you started feeling the way you do and why you believe they are no longer invested in the relationship. The least your partner can do is to be honest with you. However, the truth might be hard to swallow. Therefore, be prepared to deal with the pain can come with an unpleasant truth.
End The Relationship
If you’ve tried talking to your partner about the situation, but they are not being honest or making an effort to solve the problem, it may be time to cut your losses and end the relationship. It might be hard to walk away from a relationship especially if you have invested a lot of time in it. However, it is better than spending the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t value you. Think about it, would you want to spend even more years feeling the way you do right now? Wouldn’t it be better to open your heart to a new romance that may prove to be what you’ve always wanted in a relationship?
When you decide to get out of a one-sided relationship with a girlfriend or boyfriend, it’s advisable to cut communication with your ex. Staying out of contact with an ex helps you to move on. When you maintain a connection, it means a part of you is still hoping that the relationship can be salvaged. Cutting communication also gives you the chance to let new energy in. What’s more, it prevents you from reliving your mistakes and can be an excellent way for you to heal.
State Your Expectations From The Start
If you’ve succeeded in getting out of a one-sided relationship or you are scared of getting into one, it might help to let your prospective partner know your expectations from the beginning of the relationship. Tell them that if they are not serious about you, they should stop pursuing you. A person whose intentions are to use you for their benefit would probably stay away from you if you are candid about your expectations. However, there is no guarantee they will stop coming after you. Therefore, keep an open eye for the red flags of a one-sided relationship
Start Focusing On Yourself
When you are constantly focusing on your partner’s needs, it’s easy to forget yourself in the situation. What's more, a selfish one-sided relationship can make one emotionally dependent on their partner because every effort you make to get closer to them fails. As a result, you find yourself always trying to do something to please them so that your relationship can get better.
Ultimately, how they react to you becomes a contributing factor to your happiness. If this rings true to your situation, you need to begin prioritizing yourself. Start working on the relationship you have with yourself as it will have a positive impact on all your future relationships.
Start Dating Other People
When you are in love with someone who doesn’t seem to care about you, it can be challenging to move on and start seeing other people. Most people take their partner's rejection as a sign that they are not good enough. As a result, they spend a lot of time trying to prove their worth to their partner. At times, even when the relationship has long ended, a person who was in a one-sided relationship may not open their heart to new romance out of fear of going through the same thing again. That is normal. However, despite how scary it seems, you need to build up the courage to date again. With time, you will meet someone amazing, and your current situation will be a thing of the past.
Don't Beat Yourself Up
A lot of questions run through someone’s mind when they realize they are in a one-sided relationship. Am I not good enough? Is there something I did to make him or her fall out of love with me? Will I ever find someone who truly loves me? Such questions can do a number on your self-esteem. They may also make you feel like you always have to overcompensate or settle in a relationship because you believe you don’t have a lot to offer. When you find yourself in a one-sided relationship, do not blame yourself for it. If your partner is not interested in you, move on and find someone who is.
Don't Entertain People Who Don't Appreciate You
At times, your partner may not admit that they are no longer interested in being with you. That is because they still want to use you for their gain. They will say things like, “You are just imagining things” or “How can you think that about me?” However, remember that actions speak louder than words. If the things they are doing don’t reflect what they are saying, there is a great chance they are just using you, and they do not respect you. Love yourself enough to walk out of a situation that no longer serves you. If they do not appreciate your presence, let them know how it is to live a life without you.
Choose Happiness By Leaving That One-Sided Relationship!
Finding yourself in a one-sided relationship is not fun. It might make you feel like you are not good enough. However, what you have to remember is that people fall out of love and you can’t always control other people’s reactions. The only person you can control is you. Therefore, do not stay with someone who doesn’t care for you as much as you care for them. Leave, and open your heart to the possibility of finding a new love that will be worth your effort.